Parent Guidelines for Talking with Young Children about War and Terrorism

Before talking to children about war, parents should take the time to think about the issue themselves and consider what it means to their family. Each family is unique, with its own special history and past experiences of loss, trauma, and war.

Let children know in a language they can understand that the decision to go to war was a difficult and very serious one that took a lot of time to decide. Explain that war is intended to keep them safe, to prevent bad things from happening in the future.

Because what we know about the war changes every day, children may have questions on more than one occasion. Issues may need to be discussed more than one time. New events may need clarification for children. Parents should remain flexible and open to new questions and clarifications.

Tips For Parents:

• For toddlers and preschool-age children, parents should serve as a "protective shield" against the images of war, particularly those on television. Very young children should not be exposed to the sights and souds of war.

• Be careful about adult television viewing. Even if you are in the room, young children should be shielded from images of war, however brief they may be. Try not to leave newspapers of magazines with pictures of war in places where they can be seen by very young children who may not fully understand what they are seeing.

• Young children see the world in very simple ways. Your answers to their questions about war should be just as simple and brief. Long answers may confuse young children and lead to increased worries.

• Reassure children that war will not be dangerous to your home or to the neighborhood.

• Keep your everyday routines (mealtimes, bedtimes, etc.).

• Don't change family rules such as rules about good behavior and respect.

• Be consistent about preschool pick-up times as well as times the family spends together. Separations may be difficult for a child, but keeping routines can help.

• Help younger children make sence of what they hear from older children and siblings about the war. Ask them what they have heard and about any questions they may have.
• During these stressful times, give children more attention and patience. Realize that changes in how they behave may be signs that young children are concerned and need extra time, conversations and love.
• Be aware of what is being said during adult conversations about current events. Consider if children are present. Young children have "big ears" and may overhear conversations they do not understand that can cause them to worry.
• Avoid loud or strong disagreements between adults when young children are present. Arguments about war may be frightening for them.